Change is a constant in life

I find it hard to believe but it's that time again - grading. I have never like doing it. Maybe because ..of few reasons. When I first started Aikido one of the things that attracted me to it is the "no competition" training. I like to think of it as training for self improvement and to resolve confrontation. Putting things back in its place as the saying goes. So I thought I can just come, train, make some friends, work out a sweat and go home feeling good that I am just bit by bit closer to becoming a "martial artist".

Then there was some change.

I started to travel for seminars. I made new friends. I shared my experiences with my fellow members of what's I have experienced training in a dojo from Bangkok to Manchester. I made more friends. 

It didn't stop there. 

My deepening passion for aikido became ostensible to many and it attracted some attention. I was given the opportunity to contribute by being involved in administrative affairs. Because I desire very much to see Aikido progress in my homeland, my involvement in administration became alot heavier. In a couple of days' time, I shall retire my term as the Secretary General of the BAF.

I said to myself, I wish I could go back to the time when I am just an ordinary member, training and enjoy the company of my friends. Now I have responsibilites.

As the change continues, my master tells me he feels that it is time for me to take my shodan test. Hmmmm (read it as - alot of reservation and reluctance). I had a good talk with him about it, as well as my STI. Bottomline, I guess I can't continue to just receive and not give. As much as I hate to admit it, in terms of rank I cannot stay where I am forever ( the issue of rank is another topic altogether which I may revisit in due course). So I must embrace that change and prepare myself as best as I can.

My fellow member who is also due for shodan grading at the same time is worried about his perfomance as a change in the job position made it very difficult for him to train as our usual times. I told him that we train whenever we can and see where that will take us. Last night, he committed himself to a training session with me. It was just the 2 of us and we trained for about 90 minutes before calling it a night. We agreed on a training pattern and offered feedback on the other's perfomance during training. I really enjoyed the training. 

And yes, we have changed. We have come a long way since our days as a newbie on the mat. I am reminded myself of that everytime I see S training at the beginner's section. I wish her many years of good training ahead.

In 3 weeks' time it will mark another change in my life. There will be many more to come. 

Whatever happens, change will always be there. Life is beautiful, isn't it?

A night out for music

Arrival of the Guest of Honour Her Royal Highness Paduka Seri Pengiran Anak Isteri Pengiran Anak Sarah binti Pengiran Haji Salleh Ab Rahaman

Her Royal Highness presenting a mock cheque to representative of Pusat Ehsan Al-Ameerah Al-Hajjah Maryam

Città di Firenze

Performance by Leonardo Melani, Tenor

I had a great time.

Chin decided to have dinner at Topaz for her birthday. I arrived at a quite restaurant. It was clean and tidy looking. The restaurant had been in business for nearly a year and I was wondering whether the lack of dining crowd was due to the quality of its food or simply because it was the "dry" part of the month for most locals.

 

My mock Sangria. It tasted something like a toned down version of san suan ping.

 

DD was feeling a little grumpy. She had her jab during the day.

The lamb shank was not too bad but was a bit dry.

H was reasonably satisfied with the pasta pesto.

Unfortunately, there was only one dessert available at Topaz so we swung over to Saffron for its delicious desserts.

 My favourite! Warm chocolate pudding!

The heavenly pavlova

 

Chin liked this alot. Sticky date pudding.

Banana crepes. Thumbs up.

You're being too nice

Can I change that? Do I want to?

"Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself"

Familiarity breeds contempt. Normally we tend to take things or persons for granted after getting comfortable or close. We cease to extend grace and courtesies to each other. Sometimes that may extend to failing to carry out responsibilites or obligations altogether. No man is an island. Our acts, whether we know it or not,  does have an effect on those surrounding us. Take some time to think about your acts, omissions or neglect and ask yourself whether you would have done the same thing to yourself. or allow the same to be done to you.

People remember you most for how you treated them. Relationships count alot in life.

Right or wrong?

Everyone who practises martial arts and sticks to a particular one must have some reason for doing so. Maybe its philosophy appeals to you. Perhaps you had a very good teacher. Or simply the fact that it was developed by the race you were born into. Comparison is an unavoidable part of life, whether you like it or not. We inherently discriminate, impose/bestow superiority of one race, thing, system, organization or practice  etc over another. Why go for the prawn when you can have the lobster?

I practice a martial art that was the creation of my race. I have been questioned by certain individuals as to why of all martial arts I had to pick one that was firstly, not created by my race, and secondly by a race that  had committed such acts of atrosities upon ours.

You may recall vividly the scenes above from the movies Legend of the Fist and Fist of Legend. The plot was amongst others, along the lines of my-art-is-better-than-yours, you-are-weaklings-and-therefore-you-are-better-off-under-our-rule, unlike-you-we-are-patriotic, your-downfall-was-your-disunity. Somewhere along the lines some patriotic hero will come and crush his enemies in a most dignified manner and gain respect from the top man he defeated. Moral of the story? There are many.

Watching these movies do evoke emotions of contradiction within me. Some very very bad things were done, in this context, by one race to another (I am not saying that no other race has ever done bad bad things to other races or even among their kin). I am left contemplating in solitude. The art itself is good, or professes to bring a person to higher levels in mental and spiritual development, but very often marred by the behaviour of those who practices it.

Have you ever had the feeling of knowing that something is right for you? Take my baby brother for example. He was quite unsure of what he wanted to do as a career until his late teens (pretty normal I think?). When he made the decision to take up culinary arts, I see the resolve in him. Our parents didn't like it as they had a very conventional view of those who cook. But his resolve coupled with my mediation let him get his way. 18 months later he graduated. Seeing him working in his profession I thought to myself, "This is right for him" Recently he took up boxing. Again I thought to myself "that's so right for him!". 

As for the emotions of contradiction I wrote earlier, I don't think I will find a perfect answer. I agree that we must analyse and evaluate in many of the things we do in life lest we make regretful decisions. But for some things however, I must follow my heart.

An open message

To the person who was driving a vehicle with registration number *L2707 today at approximately 13:40hrs- for whatever egotistical reasons that caused you to drive in such an unsafe manner, please remember that we all (yourself included) have family and loved ones who wait for us to return home safely everyday. Please use the grey matter lodged in between your ear which is protected by a skull to consider carefully before you exercise anymore of your road bullying tactics.

Enjoy your evening.

Watch what you say

I recently returned from a diving trip at Redang Island. Before returning home I stayed a night at my aunt's place, which was good timing as my cousin turned 13 on the evening that I flew back. We had a very nice dinner (grilled lamb, yum yum my favourite).

I spent some time alone with my aunt in the morning, catching up and watching her wrap presents for middle M. While we were chatting, I realized something and asked her where Cookie, their pet dog had gone to. My aunt stopped what she was doing and asked me, "Didn't you know what happened to Cookie? That was quite some time ago."  She sighed and told me in a very solemn fashion, that Cookie is no longer with us. I was shocked and asked her how it had happened. In gist, she was in a state of anger over a family matter and accidentally ran over Cookie who was sleeping under the car when she was reversing the car out of the house. She recounted the story in detail and shed tears of regret, even after 18 months had passed by since the accident.

She said that she used to curse Cookie somewhere along the lines of "Die la!"at times when she was irritated with her. The kids will do that too although those words where not spoken with malice. Little M used to tell his friends in school that Cookie died as a joke but now Cookie really is dead. My aunt had to break the news to the kids and waited until they arrived home to do so. At first they thought my aunt was joking and called out fo Cookie. But when Cookie never came, they realized that mommy was telling the truth and burst into tears. After composing themselves they plucked some flowers from the garden and visited Cookie where she was buried.

One lesson my aunt learnt was never to curse, no matter how angry or out of control you feel. She has asked Cookie so many times to die and she ended up being the one that killed her. The pain must have been immense. I remember accidentally running over a newborn puppy some years ago and I cried with pain and regret as I saw the pup draw its last breath before the life went out of it. What more for a companion who has been with the family for some time.

Words are very powerful tools. Do not take them for granted. Do not say what you don't mean, especially when you are not in control of yourself. Words can forge/destroy, make/break and give/take away. Use them wisely. Be alert and aware of what you say. Sometimes silence is the best thing in a given situation, or just walk away.

RIP Cookie. You are in a better place now.

Getting Real

Something happened at the dojo a few days ago that got me thinking.

It started from the blogpost "what's to gain from pain?" that I read on Memoirs of a Grasshopper. It talked about Congenital Insensitivity to Pain with Anhidrosis (CIPA),  pushing pain thresholds during training and pondered on what pain can teach us. Reading about CIPA made me recall the post that I wrote on pain. From a religious and physical viewpoint I think it is essential that we feel pain. It is not a good feeling and can be downright nasty, but it there for a reason, to protect ourselves.

In the context of pain in training,and pushing the threshold of pain,  I was reminded of the post above when a few of us stayed back after class to do some training of our own. Sensei was having the runs and needed to leave earlier than usual (our classes run for an hour but usually goes on for 90 minutes or more). He said we could stay back and trained somemore if we wanted. We said we would and we decided to work on our nikkyo pin. F is new and was taught an additional technique that night, which was shomenuchi dai nikkyo. J and I took turns taking ukemi for F and put in our 2 cents worth on correction/refinement.

F had a problem applying the nikkyo (ura) as she couldn't quite manipulate the wrist lock effectively. We took our turns volunteering our wrists to let her have a feel of applying the lock to a big hand and a smaller hand. Understandably it was she was havig some difficulty as this is a new technique for her. After some time J decided to apply the lock on her so that she could feel what the lock is like. J started very slowly and gently, with explanations on the progression of the movements applied the nikkyo.  Completely unprepared for the intensity of the pain that followed, F screamed in pain (albeit softly) and withdrew her hand. J let go and asked if she was OK. She just kept smiling, as if she went through a real scare and was traumatized. I explained to her that it is pain is part and parcel of training. We are here to learn an art of self defence and pain is unavoidable. So far her training has been quite pain free, learning how to take ukemi, stretching and throwing techniques. She has learnt ikkyo but that pin is relatively comfortable compared to what she experienced that night.

She seemed to be in a hurry to leave the dojo, and I think I know why. When she had left, I asked J how she's going to be. J's answer was simple: "she must feel it."

It looked like she was in a comfort zone and that pin snapped her out of it. I don't know what she thought of aikido then but it certainly has changed now. Does the pain make it more real? With this brief but unforgettable moment, she will need to decide on whether it is something she wish to continue. If she wishes to, she will have to continue to endure the pain that comes with it. But if she thinks that she can't, then she may want to look for a replacement activity.

Christian Tissier shihan is coming to Singapore!

Christian Tissier shihan, 7th dan

Mumei Shudan Aikido Dojo will be hosting a seminar to be conducted by Christian Tissier shihan, 7th dan from 12-14th November 2010.

For more details please visit Mumei Shudan Aikido Dojo's website.

I was all geared up to go to Singapore for what is going to be a wonderful time at the seminar but unfortunately I have an appeal to deal with the next day after the seminar ends so...Argh!

For those of you who are able to attend this seminar I wish you all a wonderful and enriching time on the mat with your aikido friends!