The journey begins.

After having been sufficiently rested and my mind in a balanced state, I think I am ready to write about what happened last weekend.

Last weekend was one of sorts, there was good and bad, happy and sad and many others in between. That weekend also marked the fateful upgrading for a few of us. Sensei will be tested for nidan, whilst myself and 2 others will be tested for shodan. The RenRen brothers went for their 8th kyu upgrading and did well. We have been briefed and discussed about the requirements for shodan and I've also helped myself to articles concerning the road to that stage.

Shodan, as it is written in kanji, is - "初段". As someone who is reasonably proficient in the Chinese language, I read that term literally as "the beginning stage". As often being told, attaining shodan is the actual beginning in the learning of aikido. Before that it was sort of kindy aiki as my friend would put it. So by the time you reach the stage of shodan you should have a good basic understanding of aikido and its techniques. It is from here that you start "doing" aikido, for lack of a better term. That also means that you should be able to take ukemi where the technique involves a higher level of difficulty. In other words, you should be ready to take ukemi. Full stop. Some people are of the view that attaining shodan automatically means you can teach, but I hold a different opinion on that, partly based on the what I've said above.

So with that in mind, I constantly question whether I have what it takes to go for grading. I am slow in learning sometimes and can get very analytical, which paralyzes my training sometimes. It comes with some responsibility and possibly more given the situation we are in. So I kept telling myself that I am not ready for this. But what is the worst that could happen? I fail laa.. It's not the success of failure that I am concern with, I was just in the mood of escapism. Anyway, I readied myself for the time. I was also very comforted and encouraged by a show of friendship and support of a good friend who flew in from Singapore to join the seminar and support our grading. 

It was all good until the time sensei announced that the grading will now begin. We started with the kyu grading which involved 6 candidates. Chin came with DD to watch the grading and that put a big smile on my face. Then are we moved to the ikkyu grading I started to feel nervous. Sweaty palms, butterflies in stomach and restlessness. And sure enough, out of the 3 I was the first to be called for the shodan grading. I bowed and shikko towards the examiners with my uke Charles. I emptied my mind and told myself to just do what I always do during training. No big deal.

We started of with katatori locks. Sensei's voice was loud and commanding and he kept saying, "continue! continue!" I knew that he wanted to see whether I would move to his pace under pressure. But I deliberately took my time. I was did not move very fast but made sure that it was a continous flowing move. Maai, hanmi, irimi tenkan, kuzushi, zanshin. I made sure that it was there for each and every technique I executed. I couldn't remember what I was tested on before after the first command it was just me and Charles. During locking I took my time, giving myself time to calm my mind and for my uke to have enough rest. But deep down I felt really nervous, although I tried my best to look calm. Keep to regular breathing and a good long exhale as I finish my lock.

The grading seemed neverending and all I heard was "Next technique! Continue!" I felt that I was moving around in the circles and next thing I know it was  "jiyuwaza!" on different attacks that ended with a nikkyo ura lock. Finally "suwariwaza kokyuho!". Ahhhhh yukata...its over! As I bowed to the senseis who graded me, I heard a loud round of clapping at the background. Happy with the encouragement, I am just glad that it is over.

The next to follow were N and C. I recorded their grading and felt proud of them, as they executed one technique after the other, as a showing of the dedication, time and effort that Saturday sensei spent on us, as well as the training that we put in all these years.

PH was happy with my grading and said that I did quite well, but to be honest I haven't a clue what happened during the grading. I will find out when B passes me the cd of my recorded grading. Hehehe.

I had my first training session last night and it feels like any other session. If anything I feel the responsibility to train that much harder and to help in anyway I can, towards the training of my junior. Alot of things are on my mind now but I am going to just take it one step at the time. Train train and train.

At the end of the day, I went home and took out the kuro obi that I bought a few months earlier and reflect on  what had happened since I started training 3 1/2 years ago. I trained steadfastly, quietly and obediently in what I think is a martial art that encompasses the ideals that I grew up with and held onto. I thought of my late grandfather and what a great man he was. Attaining shodan is merely the beginning but it is also a significant milestone in my life. I want to be able to do this for as long as I can. It will be wonderful journey with alot of ah-ha! moments.

This one is for you grandpa. I love you.