In the mood for baking!

I miss baking.

So I went and bought myself an electrical hand mixer.

I baked some chocolate cupcakes and made my first attempt at piping.

I wasn't very pleased with it as it did not look too good.  I was told that the pipe size was too small. Ok. I will get another one and do better.

My housemates tried it and told me they tasted very good. I was very pleased. I enjoy feeding people with things that I make myself. I always put all my heart into the things I cook and bake.

Lastly, I decorated the cupcakes and gave them to some very important people in my life.

I wasn't sure whether they will like it because it did not turn out as well as I wanted. But I did put all my heart into making them.

Fortunately, they told me that the cupcakes were delicious. I have yet to hear from one more but I guess I will find out soon enough.

Iriminage = talk time?

I am sure you have had times when you are feeling down, there are some pick-me-up memories that you would recall to make yourself feel better. They are usually the little things, aren't they? 

The first few months in Japan has had its hard times; I couldn't speak the language, oblivious to the culture and faced strong barriers in inter-personal communication. But there were certain things that happened in the dojo that really made a difference for me. As I stepped into Honbu Dojo for the first time this year, I was intimidated by the atmosphere, the aura of its teachers and the many good and talented aikidoists that train in our midst. 

It was obvious that I am a foreigner. Am I here for on vacation? Schooling? Employed? You get looks from the regulars and after looking at your face the next thing they look at is your name that is embroidered on your left sleeve. I only have my Chinese name written on my keikogi and it is not easy to read the kanji. The senseis know me by my Christian name so I am starting to wonder whether I should embroider my Christian name on my next keikogi purchase. 

Anyhow, I spent one month in the beginners' class to learn the basics before plucking up the courage to move up to the second floor. I felt very inadequate at my level and still feel the same way. In one of my first few beginners' classes, the sensei taking the class went around training with the students. He knew me from our rendezvous back home. I thought it was going to be just taking ukemi before sensei moved on. I remember the technique clearly, it was shomenuchi iriminage. As the friendly teacher that he is, he took the opportunity to welcome me to Japan whilst executing the throw at me. I was shocked but managed to utter a response as I break my fall.

To this day, I still wear a big smile when I remember that scene. The place, the technique, the person and the timing made it all so amusing. Of course, that was not the only incident where things were said or conversation took place over the execution of techniques. Most of them happens during iriminage. But I just feel that sensei has immaculate timing when it comes to talking to me at the dojo. There was another incident which were alot more funny but that will remain unsaid.

I am very thankful for his words, at any time and anywhere. Because of the little things that he did, it gave me that much more to carry on with.

Kagurazaka AwaOdori Festival.

The ALA OwaOdori group with our teacher

I must say, before joining the AwaOdori dance festival I didn't really know much about its history. My intention is to do as much as possible in within my one year stay in Japan pertaining to aikido, languages studies and culture understanding. This would fall into the 3rd group.

Practice started nearly month on Friday and Saturday evenings after school. On the first day of practice I think everyone was unprepared for the amount of physical effort to be put given. In order to get ourselves into the rhythm we were asked for first just bounce ourselves on the spot with our hands behind our backs. After 2 minutes our knees and thighs were calling out for help but I didn't want to stop until we were asked to. After the bouncing practice we then learnt how to step to the beat of the music. Basically you lift your knee and bring it down sideways with your toe landing first. The left leg lands to the heavier drum beat and you repeat the movement over and over again. First we practiced in a stationary position after with we started moving in lines of 3. Sensei was very strict about the formation and reminded us that we have to keep the line straight and SMILE at all times. It is a festival so we should be happy. Or least look happy. Finally in came the arms. You bring you arms up and down without bending your elbow. If your left leg is out, down comes your left arm and vice versa. One round of practice lasts for about 30 minutes so you can imagine how our very first practice was! There were moans of exhaustion behind me after 10 minutes into practice. We were admiring the other dancers whose movements were graceful and much more interesting. But I know that as a beginner, you should be practical about what you can do over a span of 4 weekends.

On that day of the festival, everyone gathered at the school reception and were handed out our yukata and fans. We were also given tags containing flags of our country to be pinned on the yukata. We then took off and gathered at the end of a street where the temple was located with much enthusiasm. I was feeling nervous about not dancing well. Notwithstanding the fact that I am a guest here, I do want to perform my best in the spirit of the festival. We made 3 rounds of dance that lasted 2 hours during which we passed by hundreds of people lined up on both sides of the street who watched and cheered for the dancers. I was perspiring to a point where I was blinking incessantly from the pouring sweat but kept my smile at all times. The festival ended with a fantastic dance number from the group that we practiced with. 

The festival ended at around 21:00hrs and it was followed by refreshments and giving of thanks. I looked for our sensei mama and asked to take a picture with her. She gladly took a picture with all of us and thanked us after for our hard work. As I approached to hug her, she hugged me back and said to me "貴方は上手だった。” I was stunned but flattered that she said that. I replied to her that I wasn't all that good but I am grateful for having a good teacher like her. It really made my night for I felt her sentiment despite our short exchange.

The night was followed by a group dinner and karaoke after. 

I really enjoyed it and hope I have the chance to do it again. 

I need to loosen up

It is one of those days where I am glad I went for keiko. Funny I would say that, you think. After all, the reason why I came to Japan was for aikido training. Of course, my intention is to attend classes everyday to make as much as possible out of my short stay in Japan. However, realistically speaking, execution of such a plan is easier said than done.

First off, there is the injury factor. I got injured twice over a 6 month period. One from over training before my body could adjust to the rigors of daily training. The other was from riding my bicycle. I won't bother explaining…. Then there is the holiday factor, the social factor and the I-don't-feel-like-a-million-dollars-today factor. 

Today was one of those days where I feel worn out and worried that I might not be able to make it through the hour long training. I had a very interesting but also exhausting weekend and it is an experience I d not wish to repeat for the sake of my health and well-being. I slept for most part of Saturday and did not attend any classes. On Sunday I also slept in but went to another dojo for training in the evening. Come Monday I was still feeling tired. In fact, I almost fell asleep in class today. Age is indeed catching up on me.

Anyway back to my story. I decided that I was going to attend class today. With trepidation, I stepped into the mat telling myself to take it slowly and keep going until the end. I trained with a nice lady and a nice gentlemen. I ended up chatting with both. The lady shared her experience on training with me when I told her about my problems with kokyuho. She told me I felt stiff when she threw me. So we went over the technique and she showed me where my problems were. As I thought, it dealt largely with the connection issue. I have problems staying connected with sensei and end up stiff and disconnecting prematurely. After listening to her we tried the exercise again and she said I felt much better than before. I realized that I was only relaxing parts of my body as opposed to keeping my body in a relaxed state. It goes right down to the toes really and I was so happy to learn that today. 

As for the nice gentleman, we chatted about aikido and he was kind enough to try and speak to me in English. He was very good to train with and I had a tough time keeping up with him. 

Well, here I am, at home and extremely tired but very happy. Happy that I went for training and got something important out of it. 

I am looking forward to tomorrow's lesson.

History Revisited

I am immobilized like how I first was 15 years ago.  The pain is sharp and frequent. I can't sit neither can I lie down without feeling some pain. The puzzling point is I do not know how it happened!

Just last week we were asked in class what is the one thing we are most afraid of in life. My answer was "illness".

Aiki Jinja Festival at Iwama

It has been a little over 3 months since I arrived in Japan and I have made it a point to participate in as many aikido and related events. So far it has been as schedule except for that one time were I unbelievably missed out on one event..my heart still aches thinking about it. But it has come to past and there is nothing I can do about it. Back to the event. I was fortunate enough to get a ride from a new aikido friend and the 4 of us set out on a 2 hour journey from Tokyo to Ibaraki. The company was good and conversation was jovial and candid. It gave me much food for thought about my training, especially in the area of taking ukemi.

When we arrived the shrine was already packed with people. We registered our names and gave our donation, after which we received a bento box, programme sheets and drink vouchers. As I watched the ceremony, I frankly do not comprehend most of what is going on but I understand the essence of the proceedings. There were 2 instances during the programme where the public were chanted prayers in unison. As I listened to the chanting, a breeze started blowing and I looked up to the sky. The weather was wonderful; warm and sunny. As the breeze blew, the sunlight flickered from the stream of falling leaves. I felt a sense a serenity in that moment of time and thoroughly savoured it.

The proceedings ended with an enbu performed by Waka sensei and Doshu respectively. Thereafter everyone adjourned to the vicinity of the Iwama dojo to partake lunch. I made new friends and met old ones. It was such much fun mingling around. I then went to the Hombu corner. Doshu was making his rounds and everyone was waiting to take a picture with him. I was part of the Hombu group picture but is now at pains trying to recalled whose camera it was that was used. I also took the opportunity to take pictures with some of the senseis but unfortunately the pictures came out a little out of focus. But I am glad I got to take the pictures with them. 

The Iwama Dojo was damaged in the 311 earthquake last year but thanks to assistance from all over, it was restored. After taking a picture in the dojo, it was then time to go back.

I feel fortunate to be able to make the trip to Iwama to see the training ground of O sensei. As I walked around the vicinity, I try to conjure up a picture of how O sensei and his students would train and meditate day after day in pursuit of one's self journey to enlightenment. A journey that I too, am embarking upon.

In memoriam

I woke up today with a tinge of sadness. This is the third year that you are no longer around. Memories of you flooded my mind today. I do think of you time to time, but then when it comes to this day thoughts of you overwhelms me. 

I thought of all those things that we did when I was a child. They somehow stopped when I grew up. I remember how you were a man of few words; when you speak, I listen. I used to think that you were just being old fashioned, but on hindsight it was perfectly logical, given the community I used to live in. I also remember all the stories about that were told after you left us. It made me regret that I didn't get to know you more. I feared you, your silence and your solemness. However, I realized that if I pushed you a little more it would have been a whole different story. Just like how I pushed you to play mahjong during Chinese New Year. You said you didn't want to but when I pushed your wheelchair to the mahjong table and you started playing, it was evident that you have wanted to play it all along. In fact, when we stopped playing to attend to other matters, I saw you playing with the tiles by yourself for a little while before you stopped. You played so well! So well...

Still waters run deep. That is the kind of person you were. In my memory of you, you never bragged about anything. In fact I knew what I knew about you because grandma would tell me stories about you. About how you started with literally nothing, working in the drains and eventually to being a class AAA licensed contractor. How you provided for your family so abundantly and put all each of your 9 children through as high an education as he/she can attain. How you wouldn't ask for much, but to have your children bring you for dim sum breakfast every Sunday morning. How I saw and heard how you really felt when I was alone with you in RIPAS that day. Your tears, your anguish and your frustration. How, in the medic plane, I held your hands and told you that I love you it is all going to be OK. 

How I held your hands when you came out of the operating theatre. 

How tightly you held my hand even when you were heavily sedated with morphine. How you wouldn't let go eventhough I had to go. How you convulsed in pain when your aneurism took on. How you were in great pain had your left hand up the air, just hoping that someone would come for you when the doctor told all of us to stay out of the room. How I stroked your soft hair and spoke to you for the last time. How you waited for me to leave before you breathed your last.

All that is now left is my memory of you. 

I wanted to just live the memory a bit, so I myself some doughnuts and made a cup of milo. Your usual afternoon tea. I know that it is silly of me. You are in the best place now and we will meet again. But it is just so human to relive memories, isn't it?

I hope you did all you wanted to in your lifetime. I hope that you had no regrets. I hope that you were happy. I hope that you had love.

Until we meet again, you will forever be in my heart.

The 2012 departure

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

I had waited almost 4 years for this day and finally the day has come. My desire to live in a Japan was seeded when I attended the 10th International Aikido Federation's Congress and Seminar held in Tanabe, Japan. I started training in aikido a year before and HH sensei encouraged us to attend the seminar because it was held only once every 4 years (makes it sound like Aikido Olympics huh?), and also because it would be very good exposure for an infant aikido organization in our country.

We had a few hiccups here and there but we finally made it to Tanabe. There were 3 of us from Brunei and 2 from Aikikai Malaysia. I was very excited to be at the seminar as it was the 10th anniversary and the federation decided to hold the seminar in the birthplace of O'sensei, Ueshiba Morihei.

I was in awe when I went for my first session in the morning. Coming from an infantile and very small aikido community, it was an aikido heaven for me.

See what I mean? My cousin commented that it looked a United Nations meeting for aikido! The rest, they say, is history.

In the meantime, I took the liberty of attending as many seminars overseas as I could and it only fuelled my desire to come to Japan, to learn from the source.

My departure made many people feel sad, particularly my family. But I felt very much at peace after reaching the decision.

I am here now, and enjoying every moment of it.

Starting up

Time sure flies when you are having fun. It has been 2 months since I set foot on Japan. On paper I am a student in a Japanese language school. But really? I am here for aikido. Hahahaha! But then it is the best of both worlds really. I have always had a healthy interest in languages. Since taking up aikido my collateral interest in Japan and what is in and about her has also correspondingly increased. 

Simply put, it is wonderful, really.

I have just about gotten into a routine although somehow I seem to always not have enough time! I felt that way when I was working back at home and thought that it will change when I go back to student life. But alas, student life has its own set of time consuming activities.

This is just to let you know that I have taken a long enough break and will be back to some finger action.

Have a great weekend!

Lunar New Year 2012 greetings