We make choices everyday. In some days more and in some days less. Some days you really don't want to make any choices at all but you still have to whether you like it or not? Do I want to stay in bed longer and risk being late for work? Do I want to use my cufflinks today? Do I want to drink milo for breakfast? Whether we like it or not, making choices is inextricably link to our daily lives. The thing is, you need to make choices everyday. You don't know the consequences of the choices you make. You get worried. So you delay making them. In the meantime, everything else gets jammed up. You wonder why. You get feel a sense of frustration and conflict because you fear the very thing you need to do, making choices. Why are some choices so easy to make whilst some are not? Because some choices take us out of our comfort zone. I'm not really happy where I am but life is good. So why rock the boat? Why start all over again? Why give some something that's taken you so much time and effort to obtain? What will happen when I start over? What if it doesn't turn out the way I want or planned it to?
I find it to be quite sad if you reach that stage in life. We only live once and we don't live on "what ifs?" You have no control over what happens in future but you still need to make choices. I remember the wise words of a friend when I told him that I have made the decision to leave my job. He said, "remember, there are no bad choices. Just good and less good choices."
I thought about what I wanted in life and was at one point very sure that path X was the path that I want to take. It took me 5 years and 2 failed exams to get me there and another 6 years of training and work. This endeavour took me 11 years. After the 6th year I began to ask myself whether it is a job I want to be in the long run. I still wasn't sure but I kept on, believing in the motto that once you made a decision to do something you give it your best shot, all the time, until you stop doing that something. Things were good, but internally I was not happy. For the last 5 years I told myself that there has got to be more in life than this. If there is, what is it? I looked for things to do. I talked to friends. I spend time with my loved ones. I went for trips. Still something is missing.
I became more and more unhappy. I was in search of that elusive and missing factor in my life.
As least it is clear to me that what I am doing now is not what I want. But I do not know what I want to do either? I need to make a choice. I can stay where I am until I find out what that is or I can just leave and find out what that is. After thinking about it for 10 months. I decided on the latter. Of course the latter choice brings with it a floodgate of concerns. I have ben living my life in too much of a set pattern and it has not made me happy. So let's not live in a pattern and see where it takes me.
Actually I have a pretty good idea what I want to do but I won't tell you. He he he. It does not affect your live anyway.
Another choice that I have to make is not to be so laid back in my training. Sensei gave me a mock test last night and was satisfied what I understand the techniques despite not being taught. I knew the technique but don't know how to do it.I felt quite overwhelmed because I was tested on a variety of techniques. Ali senpai was a most sporting uke. I would have been fine with doing the nikkyo the whole night. I need that actually. I MUST remember to do the kuzushi...
Ok off now to make another choice. Back to work as lunchtime is over. I can't wait for training tonight. I hope your day was good as it was for me.
I find it to be quite sad if you reach that stage in life. We only live once and we don't live on "what ifs?" You have no control over what happens in future but you still need to make choices. I remember the wise words of a friend when I told him that I have made the decision to leave my job. He said, "remember, there are no bad choices. Just good and less good choices."
I thought about what I wanted in life and was at one point very sure that path X was the path that I want to take. It took me 5 years and 2 failed exams to get me there and another 6 years of training and work. This endeavour took me 11 years. After the 6th year I began to ask myself whether it is a job I want to be in the long run. I still wasn't sure but I kept on, believing in the motto that once you made a decision to do something you give it your best shot, all the time, until you stop doing that something. Things were good, but internally I was not happy. For the last 5 years I told myself that there has got to be more in life than this. If there is, what is it? I looked for things to do. I talked to friends. I spend time with my loved ones. I went for trips. Still something is missing.
I became more and more unhappy. I was in search of that elusive and missing factor in my life.
As least it is clear to me that what I am doing now is not what I want. But I do not know what I want to do either? I need to make a choice. I can stay where I am until I find out what that is or I can just leave and find out what that is. After thinking about it for 10 months. I decided on the latter. Of course the latter choice brings with it a floodgate of concerns. I have ben living my life in too much of a set pattern and it has not made me happy. So let's not live in a pattern and see where it takes me.
Actually I have a pretty good idea what I want to do but I won't tell you. He he he. It does not affect your live anyway.
Another choice that I have to make is not to be so laid back in my training. Sensei gave me a mock test last night and was satisfied what I understand the techniques despite not being taught. I knew the technique but don't know how to do it.I felt quite overwhelmed because I was tested on a variety of techniques. Ali senpai was a most sporting uke. I would have been fine with doing the nikkyo the whole night. I need that actually. I MUST remember to do the kuzushi...
Ok off now to make another choice. Back to work as lunchtime is over. I can't wait for training tonight. I hope your day was good as it was for me.
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