The "full marks" breakfast

The day has come. After 11 months of studies I am going to sit for my first Japanese Language Proficiency Test. During the course of my revision the feeling that I should have taken the N3 test instead of N2 grew stronger and stronger. I am here now so that is moot. Anyway I got up early to make the "full marks" breakfast. My mother used to make this breakfast whenever my brothers and I are sitting for our school exams. She would cook one sausage and 2 sunny side up eggs and arranged them in to look like "100". It is her way of wishing us all the best in our exams. It is only now that I appreciate the thought that care and concern that she has in everything that has to do with us. 

After the very inspiring breakfast, I made my way to the test venue which is at Meijiro University.

I made it there in good time and was slightly taken aback by the number of N2 candidates. The doors opened at 12:00hrs. The test voucher states that the grammar and kanji section test starts at 12:30hrs and ends at 14:30hrs. What perplexed me was that the giving our of the question and answer sheets as well and identification procedure only commenced after 12:30hrs. We only started answering the questions 20 minutes later which I felt was time lost for us. Then I remembered that on the question sheet it was stated that we have 105 minutes to answer the questions. Hahaha. The test voucher should have been more specific, I think!

The instructions were given out no less than 3 times for the benefit of late comers. What got my attention was the part on rule violation. Depending on the severity of the violation you may be issued a yellow card of red card. The invigilator raised the cards as she was explaining the rules and it made her look like a football referee. By the way, at least 2 persons were handed the yellow card by the end of the test.

I came out of the test feeling forlorn; I generally understood the contents of the questions but it was not clear enough to give a confident answer. In other words, I am almost there but still not there. I know that by July next year I will be more than ready to take the test again. Hahahaha!

I am glad I took the test and that it is over. It had it degree of difficulty and my vocabulary was not extensive enough to equip myself to deal with the questions and that is something I will work harder upon from now on. Relieved and wanting to wind down, a few of us met up for dinner.

 お疲れ様でした！Yet more brain cells were sacrificed today in the name of progress so cheers to that!

On the eve

 One more day before the exams! It is another cold day and I really did not feel like leaving the apartment. But the environment at home is not very conducive so I made my way to the nearby cafe. Looking the at lighting that has been put up to greet the festive season and receiving a motivational message from a friend it brought a smile to my face. 

My revision was slightly distracted due to some necessary family chatting. Finally I took out a past paper to get accustomed to the test format. A little bit late I know but that was the last thing on my mind really. I was finished with the listening part quite some time ago as I really have rather bad listening skills. Overall I could understand the passages and answer the questions but it is the grammar that stumps me. Also if the sentence is exclusively hiragana it actually slows my reading reading pace considerably. My performance was mediocre. Bottom line is, just do it tomorrow and wait for the results. 

We came home to a very nice dinner. Spare rib soup!

As the weather gets cold soups warms the body and the heart. After dinner we decided to just relax and prepare the necessary for tomorrow's exam. For example…

After familiarizing myself with the examination venue and the instruction given on the ID pamphlet I am off to a nice warm shower and some music! 

Have a great Sunday!

An eventful day

A sense of hopefulness is growing inside me. Revision is drawing to an end and it is 2 more days before the "big" day. The more I revise the more I lose data. I am not really making sense, am I?

Tired out from the recent constant use of my diminishing brain power, I overslept only to wake up near noon. Luckily I remembered that today is the deadline to settle my insurance issues, I quickly made my way to the City Office. Although it was lunchtime my matter was settled within a matter of minutes and soon I was on my way to school. 

As usual on abstinence Friday I had a nice soba set lunch (which was very filling by the way) before heading for class. Class seats were switched as they do once a fortnight and I am glad that I do not have to sit right in front. On Fridays we get to watch a video with some Q&A before proceeding to grammar and kanji lessons.

The video we watched today was an interesting one. It was the story of a man who was punished by being set back in time whenever he fails to do a gratuitous deed when the situation arises. He wakes up on that particular day at 10:00hrs with a detailed plan to prepare for his girlfriend's birthday. He boards the bus and fails to give up his seat to an elderly lady. He wakes up and it is 10:00hrs on the same day. It happened a few times before he realized what was going on. Dreading to be sent back in time he helps out anyone who is in trouble. In the end his could not carry out his itinerary and also ended up losing his girlfriend to another man. From then one he continues to carry out gratuitous deeds and was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize several years later. Unfortunately at the prize giving ceremony he accidentally stepped on someone's foot and ended up being set back in time! Although it was a fictional story the presentation was funny nevertheless. That was the fun part of class today.

It was my turn to buy groceries today and I felt like cooking something more special to take myself out of this sense of hopelessness temporarily before being sucked into it again during revision. I am not too happy with the arrangement but I will just have to leave it for another time. I enjoyed the cooking process as everything was cooked from scratch, including the sauce and dressing.

After dinner it was time to head to the cafe and get on with my revision. To my pleasant surprise I bumped into Ueshiba sensei and had a small chat with him. He very nicely wished me all the best for my coming exams. Smile. After revision I went for a walk with my flatmate and took some pictures of the neighbourhood.

Unfortunately the Christmas lightings had been switched off by the time I came back from my evening walk thus cutting short my clicking time. Awwww. I will have plenty of time after my exams. Hehehe.

I don't think I will be able to sleep anytime soon tonight so I might as well do another round of revision.

Twas a good day.

Some necessary spending

The soles of my boots were in a pathetic condition and today is the day to get it fixed. Aware of the high cost of living in Japan I braced myself as I looked at the price list as I approached the Mister Mint kiosk at Shinjyuku Nishiguchi station after class. The fix cost me 3,150yen which is just a little below SGD50.00. *gasp* I could probably get my shoes fixed 3 times for that amount back home. Oh well. It still costs less than me buying a new pair of boots. 

I decided to console myself with some retail therapy. HAHAHAHA. I am of the female sex after all! At first I was thinking of getting some pastries but ended up at this shop selling tea and what nots like tenugui (hand towels) and handkerchiefs. My eyes were cast upon this particular tenugui which is a limited season's edition. Since tis the season to be jolly I gladly made a purchase. 

I have grown to be very fond of tenuguis. The first tenugui I received as a gift from a Japanese friend 2 years ago and really like it. I was reluctant to use it as I thought it too beautiful to be subjected to wear and tear. But I brought it with my to Japan and eventually started using it. I now have 10 pieces, 8 of which were gifted. I am sure the number will continue to grow.

After my brief retail therapy it is off to the cafe for my revision. Although I can manage 2 solid hours the words will start swimming around after that. I don't use the language as often as I should and it has hindered my progress. Oh well, there are ways around it. *grin*

A sweet little thing

The weather is getting colder and brings back memories of when I first arrived in Japan. Frankly I don't really want to get out of the house and prefer to stay indoors reading and surfing the internet. My all important examination is just around the corner so it is time to switch gears on my revision. 

Hoping to up my motivation I invited a couple of friends for a 勉強会 (study group) at my place. As we gathered in the evening it started off with some chit chat. As time passes we decided that we would start after dinner instead. I think you see where this is going. Hahaha. After dinner there was more chit chat and I ended up spending some time on a phone call. Ah the wonders of internet calling. Eventually we got started and it was followed by 2 hours of deafening silence. The study group ended with the grumbling of someone's stomach. It was time to take out the dessert!

As I realized soon after arriving in Japan the country is a nom nom haven. Especially what the patisseries here have to offer! So as a reward for our "grueling" session of self study (which is itself obligatory anyway) we ended the night by pigging out on a delicious cake.

The act of consumption was accompanied by a variety of sounds which more than adequately expressed our satisfaction with this product. There shall be the sampling of another cake very soon. Twas a good day!

There is a first time for everything.

Indeed. Since arriving in Japan 10 months ago, I have tried doing a few things for the first time.

Today, also for the first time, I did something which I thought I will never do. It took me alot of courage from start to finish and I lost sleep over it too. I went through with it anyway to avoid having any regrets later on in life. 

That is not the end of it though. For now I will hustle while I wait.

Withdrawal symptoms?

I couple of weeks ago I decided that I would stop training at Hombu Dojo during the weekdays to give myself more time to study for the upcoming JLPT exams. Somehow it feels like something is missing. There is that sense of guilt too.

I have been attending training everyday and suddenly I only attend classes during the weekends. I feel left out; missing all that action and the learning experience.

But this coming examination is important as it is a stepping stone to my plan for the new few years. So I better make sure that the time I sacrificed not training is worth it!

相見易同住難

One of the best ways for people to understand one another is to live together. It does not necessarily need to be long term co-habitation; travelling together will also offer a glimpse of what a person is really like. Basically something where certain aspects of someone's personal life is inevitable exposed. 

The experience can range from pleasant to downright unbearable.

For me, the recent experience of co-habitation with a few people has resulted in closer bond in with one and return to being strangers with others. 

My first autumn in Japan

Coming from an equatorial country, I was really looking forward to my year long stay in Japan. Ah, to experience the four seasons. I came to Japan in the middle of winter and remember seeing steam in front of me everytime I exhale. Then came spring and I went cherry blossom viewing with some of my gals. It was followed by summer which I commemorated with a trip to Okinawa. The white sands, blue waters and clear skies!

As I am near the end of my year long stay, I have also just gone through the fourth and last season since my arrival 10 months ago. Thinking how I am going to commemorate this season, the chance came when one of my friends showed me pictures that he took of the autumn leaves when he went to Takao san. Takao san is roughly 50 minutes by train from Shinjuku and the fare costs 370 yen per trip. Seeing that autumn is near its end I thought I should do it soon.

After looking at the week's weather forecast, the best day was mid-week. I also wanted to avoid the weekend crowd. As school starts in the afternoon, I woke up at 05:30hrs, board the train at 06:47hrs and reached Takaosanguichi at around 7:20hrs. I paid 900 yen to take the cable car up in order to save time. 

For about 3 hours, I walked around enjoying the fresh air, taking pictures and at times just simply enjoying the view. 

I arrived early so there were not many people save for the ardent hikers and photographers. By the time I started making my way to the train station there were a steady stream of people arriving to enjoy the autumn leaves.

I stopped on the way to have a sake manjyuu. Whilst waiting for the train I took a good bye picture from the station.

The energy that I had in the morning quickly disappeared as I boarded the train. I snoozed off very soon after the train took off and was contemplating whether to go to school. As tired as I was, I decided to attend class and bought a box of souvenirs to share with my classmates and teacher. 

A truly wonderful experience. 

A nice cool rainy night

After some days of sunny weather, the rain visited today. I had just recovered from a migraine attack which occurred yesterday and thought I would give training another miss today. There are a few things weighing on my mind for the past month and it is about time that I deal with at least one issue. It has affected my mood more or less and I would like to get back to my old self again. 

So today, I cycled back home from school in the rain, took a hot shower, had my dinner and just relaxed in my room. Then my father, who is far away from us and had discovered the wonders of Facebook, came online and the family had a great group chat together. Some time with my family is just what I needed and it will keep me going for sometime.

A little of revision, a nice cup of tea and I am ready to call it a night.

Tomorrow is going to be another beautiful day.

When routine sets in?

I am sure you had one of those days where you train with a partner who does not follow what the sensei is teaching. I met yet such a partner today.

My initial reaction is always that of annoyance; with the fact that you disregard what the sensei is teaching and stick to what you are most familiar or comfortable with. To me I feel is a act of disrespect towards the sensei that is taking the lesson and a breach of etiquette. 

However, I decided to revisit my thoughts on this matter in an attempt to decipher what may be reasons for such behaviour. 

• auto-pilot (Can't… control… limbs…)
• did not pay attention. ( I was too busy wiping the sweat off my face.)
• did not understand what was being shown (Wow you can do sankyo that way? But how?)
• did not agree with what was being shown (No no no, kuzushi is not possible that way)
• uke being excessively resistant (I have to change to something that works!)
• indifference (It is just another sankyo)
• training versus workout (I am just here to break a sweat)

The above are the reasons I have come up so far which may explain why things like this occur during training. As far as I am concerned, if one falls into the third category you could still attempt to perform what was being taught by the sensei. If you tried but face difficulties it will mostly and surely catch the attention of sensei, who would approach and guide you, as it would happen in most cases. But if you do not even try, then it negates the point of having sensei to lead the class and instruct, doesn't it?

As for the fifth category, I have spoken to some of my friends about this situation. This may warrant a separate post altogether because several factors, such as the level of training, the partner you are training with, your mindset towards the methodology of training etc. would come into play. As I am still exploring this issue for I will leave it for now.

Anyway, my partner is a yudansha and what was instructed is clearly very different from what is being normally instructed. That is wonder of training because of how much you can learn from every sensei. Sometimes I am guilty of not paying full attention during demonstration of a technique as my mind would be still on a previous technique or simply spaced out. But everytime I try my best to see what sensei is trying to tell me through his instruction. 

We should, figuratively speaking, empty our cup everytime we come to class. But how often do we do that? Or rather, are we willing to do that?

The little things - the shoulder pat

This little thing came about from an aikido event.

I was at a get-together party on the first night of an aikido training camp. It was the 8th of its kind. 8 is an auspicious number to the chinese and looks like the symbol for infinity when laid horizontally. Due to my dan rank I was seated at the corner of the dojo along with some members from HD. I finally managed to indulge in some respectable conversation after 9 months of study but was still nervous and feeling inadequate about my communication ability via Japanese.

As the party progressed you made your rounds with the members and before I realized you came to our group. In fact, you sat next to me! Due to my nervousness and apprehension, I remained silent after the formal greeting. Conversation followed and I listened quietly. Then you turned around, gave me a smile and a double pat on my left shoulder. My reaction was a smile and a deep nod. I am not sure, but I felt, at that point, that it was enough for the both of us. Your gesture, my response, mutually and fully appreciated. 

Thank you for the shoulder pat and everything that comes with it.

The 11th IAF Congress and Seminar

I had been looking very forward to attending my second IAF seminar. It was 4 years ago that got me thinking about training at Hombu Dojo. Now here I am, having the time of my life doing what I have have wanted to do since 3 years ago.

I spent a great deal of time with my good friends and training with friends as well as new acquaintances. I also had a surprise dinner with someone whom I thought who not be possible to have dinner with during my time here. There is also this transition of wearing a different coloured belt on the mat. I made new friends, kept and lost friends.

As expected, it was a memorable and eventful week. Every experience, whether good or bad, made me grew.

Taking the exam

I did it. I registered for the Japanese Language Proficiency Test (JLPT). After 9 months of studying at the Japanese language school and living in Japan, I think it is time for me the take the test. Something to note though, by the time I finish school at the end of the year, which round the time I will be taking my JLPT, I would have only finished the N3 syllabus. The interesting thing is, I registered for N2! 

I had been living the life of a full time student since the beginning of the year but I would like to spend some of my time here doing a part time job. Sometimes I feel like I am wasting much time doing nothing. Which leads me to feel like a diminished individual. But then again I haven't been actively looking for a part time job either. So when teacher brought up the subject of taking the JLPT, I told myself that I would use this as an impetus to start the ball rolling. 

The next 2 months will be very tough, because taking the test above one's level is…always tough. But eversince I started Japanese language class I became committed to the study. For sure I came to Japan to train aikido at Hombu Dojo but I am also a language student. Therefore I cannot just train aikido and neglect my studies. I chose to come to Japan as a language student so I have responsibilities towards that end. If one chooses to do something one must do it well. 

So, I will work hard for it! JLPT N2 in December 2012. Go go go!

There is a time for everything.

I lost a friend today.

Why? Because there are just so many thing in life that are out of your control.

You try your best to be as true and as patient you can be to you friend. Especially when you are patient, you compromise to avoid matters escalating from bad to worse. However, that could sometimes be misconstrued as a tacit admission of something, usually of wrongdoing. 

One day, that patience reaches a limit. You want to let your friend know you feel, that your feelings have been hurt by your friend's overprotective and inconsiderate actions, as much as they may be well intentioned. But your friend has turned cold towards you, treating you as if you were a mere acquaintance.

Still, you want to salvage the friendship, as someone who cherish the bond of friends. So you walk up to your friend to ask for some time to talk. But you get those few cold words, "there is nothing to talk about, no need to talk" and you are left standing by yourself, wondering what on earth you did to deserve this type of treatment. All this time I had been true and patient. 

It was really a 180 degree about turn from just a week ago. 

And for what? For something that was not even a concern of my friend nor sometime that will affect my friend's quality of life. Perhaps my friend no longer wishes to be associated with me because I am thought to have made a stupid mistake. No matter. I cannot please everyone. Neither should I suffer fools gladly.

Therefore, I made the decision, and lost to lose a friend today.

Some home cooking

Whilst enjoying my life here there are times when I am struck by homesickness. One of the things I miss most is my mother's home cooked food. She has a penchant for fatty pork and I guess it runs in the family. I decided to give the 2-in-1 fatty pork dish a go to ease my homesickness somewhat.

First I simmer the fatty pork in water to make the soup stock. 

Once the pork has softened remove from pot and cut it to bite size pieces.

Put in vegetables to make vegetable soup. Add salt if desired. I found the soup tasty enough without adding the salt.

Cook pork in low heat with salt and garlic until garlic turns crispy. Be careful not to overcook the garlic as it will turn bitter.

 And there you have it.

My mother's 2-in-1 garlic pork with soup.

The little pleasures in life ^_^.

September is here!

       This picture kind of captures my feeling of my first few months in Japan. Alone and lost! Hahahaha.

It is the first day of September! It had been nearly 8 months since I arrived in Japan. slowly but surely I had settled down on my new life here. Today began with an early morning of aikido session followed by another which ended just before noon. I wanted to push myself to take a third class before the rendezvous later at night but I decided to stop at 2 because I seemed to be getting alot more bruises on my calves this week than normal. I did practice some tobi ukemi. I still suck at it and I am sure that has a great bearing on the cause of my bruises for these week *resigned grin*. Moderation is key...

Unexpectedly took an afternoon and after that it is to the station to meet up for dinner and movie! We took a liking to this all you can eat syabu-syabu restaurant because of its reasonable price and the dim sum option. The funny thing is, we always end up at the same table! As usual we were very audible and animated while stuffing ourselves silly. We had ample time and met up with another classmate at the cinema. I wanted to take a group picture of us at the cinema and approached a lady to help us take pictures but she looked frightened, waved her hands and said she is not doing it. Oh well…

Avengers wasn't so bad a movie. There was a build up to the action as the characters went through a teething period before getting their act together. we were greeted with rainfall after the movie and everyone hurried home after bidding a hasty goodbye. 

It was a good day. 

Exercise discretion in matters of importance

It was one of those nights where after the keiko is over, I sat down and tell myself for maybe the hundredth time: you can really tell a person's character when you train with him/her.

Granted, we all have limitations as human beings. Therefore we aspire to continually improve ourselves in whatever we do. There are some who try, improve and grow. Some try, but don't seem to be getting anywhere. Yet some try, but are not really opening their eyes and minds to what is being taught in front of them. In some cases some are contented with where they are and what they are doing, ready to spend the rest of their lives at status quo. 

Given the short time that I am going to be in Japan, I try to attend the classes of as many shihans and shidoins as I can. I want to see how they express themselves through aikido and also to get to know abit more about them through their practice. 

One night I was fortunate to have dinner with some of the teachers and invariably the conversation turned to aikido as one sensei was concerned with how I was doing in my aikido practice so far. One of the things I told him was that it is very different compared to home as back there there were some restrictions with body contact and also the number of partners you can train with. However, after coming to Japan I have so many partners to choose from and there were no problems with body contact. Sensei responded with one sentence; " You have to choose you partner carefully." That statement came back to bite me one day.

One of those nights, I partnered with someone I thought would have somewhat changed after training daily at Hombu Dojo for so many months. My first experience with X was a rather unpleasant one. X was stiff and did X's own aikido contrary to what was taught by the shihan. After 5-6 months, I partnered with X again and it was the same. I am not saying that I am a fabulous aikido practitioner, but at the very least I try my best to do what is being taught by the sensei that is taking the class, not whatever I am comfortable with. I felt that it was  waste of my time because I intended to practice what as taught, not what X thinks how it should be done. In fact sensei came over a few times to train with X but X could not follow because X did not ensure that connection was kept for as long as possible. In the end, sensei stopped, smile and walked away without completing the technique.

It was a less than fun session but I made the choice to train with X and now I know one thing for sure; I will not choose X to train with in future, due to the reasons above.

A little consideration for close proximity

I met a "L" at the dojo tonight. That person does not wash his keiko gi but just suns it outside his house after every training session. There is a strong smell of ammonia which paralyses your sense of smell no matter which corner of the dojo you are at. I had the fortune of training with that person. For some time. Imagine having to practice judo with someone like that! 

There may be a variety of reasons for allowing your keiko gi to descend into that condition, whether justifiable or not. But I think that as a martial arts practitioner and particularly one of close proximity, utmost concern should be given hygiene and cleanliness.

One of the things that our master places utmost emphasis on, is cleanliness. Come in a clean keiko gi. Keep your nails short. Brush your teeth. Take a shower before training. He never used the same keiko gi for more than one session. You might think that some of these things are not achievable due to certain constraints, but some diligence and investment can make it possible.

On diligence; here in Japan, it is the norm to find the ladies taking a shower and brushing their teeth before class. As I have the luxury of living very close to Hombu Dojo, I brush my teeth and take a shower before leaving for Hombu Dojo. I dispense with shower of course during cooler days.  The point is, it makes a big difference when you prepare yourself that way before training. First of all, I view it as a symbolic ablution before entering the realm of the dojo to train. When you enter the dojo you train, you leave your worldly and everyday thoughts behind and concentrate on the training, physically, mentally and spiritually. Secondly, for not rambling on, it is etiquette!

On investment, purchase more than one or 2 sets of keiko gi if you are serious about training regularly. They don't have to be very expensive, state of the art, sweat-sucking-quick-drying keiko gi. Just practical ones will do. They do go a long way, just like how you intend your training life to be. 

I hope that as people get immersed whilst pursuing an activity and in this case aikido, don't only just think  about coming to the dojo and doing the moves. There is more to it then just that.

Hari Raya Greetings

Wishing all my Muslim friends and family Selamat Hari Raya AidilFitri and happy holidays!

In the mood for baking!

I miss baking.

So I went and bought myself an electrical hand mixer.

I baked some chocolate cupcakes and made my first attempt at piping.

I wasn't very pleased with it as it did not look too good.  I was told that the pipe size was too small. Ok. I will get another one and do better.

My housemates tried it and told me they tasted very good. I was very pleased. I enjoy feeding people with things that I make myself. I always put all my heart into the things I cook and bake.

Lastly, I decorated the cupcakes and gave them to some very important people in my life.

I wasn't sure whether they will like it because it did not turn out as well as I wanted. But I did put all my heart into making them.

Fortunately, they told me that the cupcakes were delicious. I have yet to hear from one more but I guess I will find out soon enough.

Iriminage = talk time?

I am sure you have had times when you are feeling down, there are some pick-me-up memories that you would recall to make yourself feel better. They are usually the little things, aren't they? 

The first few months in Japan has had its hard times; I couldn't speak the language, oblivious to the culture and faced strong barriers in inter-personal communication. But there were certain things that happened in the dojo that really made a difference for me. As I stepped into Honbu Dojo for the first time this year, I was intimidated by the atmosphere, the aura of its teachers and the many good and talented aikidoists that train in our midst. 

It was obvious that I am a foreigner. Am I here for on vacation? Schooling? Employed? You get looks from the regulars and after looking at your face the next thing they look at is your name that is embroidered on your left sleeve. I only have my Chinese name written on my keikogi and it is not easy to read the kanji. The senseis know me by my Christian name so I am starting to wonder whether I should embroider my Christian name on my next keikogi purchase. 

Anyhow, I spent one month in the beginners' class to learn the basics before plucking up the courage to move up to the second floor. I felt very inadequate at my level and still feel the same way. In one of my first few beginners' classes, the sensei taking the class went around training with the students. He knew me from our rendezvous back home. I thought it was going to be just taking ukemi before sensei moved on. I remember the technique clearly, it was shomenuchi iriminage. As the friendly teacher that he is, he took the opportunity to welcome me to Japan whilst executing the throw at me. I was shocked but managed to utter a response as I break my fall.

To this day, I still wear a big smile when I remember that scene. The place, the technique, the person and the timing made it all so amusing. Of course, that was not the only incident where things were said or conversation took place over the execution of techniques. Most of them happens during iriminage. But I just feel that sensei has immaculate timing when it comes to talking to me at the dojo. There was another incident which were alot more funny but that will remain unsaid.

I am very thankful for his words, at any time and anywhere. Because of the little things that he did, it gave me that much more to carry on with.

Kagurazaka AwaOdori Festival.

The ALA OwaOdori group with our teacher

I must say, before joining the AwaOdori dance festival I didn't really know much about its history. My intention is to do as much as possible in within my one year stay in Japan pertaining to aikido, languages studies and culture understanding. This would fall into the 3rd group.

Practice started nearly month on Friday and Saturday evenings after school. On the first day of practice I think everyone was unprepared for the amount of physical effort to be put given. In order to get ourselves into the rhythm we were asked for first just bounce ourselves on the spot with our hands behind our backs. After 2 minutes our knees and thighs were calling out for help but I didn't want to stop until we were asked to. After the bouncing practice we then learnt how to step to the beat of the music. Basically you lift your knee and bring it down sideways with your toe landing first. The left leg lands to the heavier drum beat and you repeat the movement over and over again. First we practiced in a stationary position after with we started moving in lines of 3. Sensei was very strict about the formation and reminded us that we have to keep the line straight and SMILE at all times. It is a festival so we should be happy. Or least look happy. Finally in came the arms. You bring you arms up and down without bending your elbow. If your left leg is out, down comes your left arm and vice versa. One round of practice lasts for about 30 minutes so you can imagine how our very first practice was! There were moans of exhaustion behind me after 10 minutes into practice. We were admiring the other dancers whose movements were graceful and much more interesting. But I know that as a beginner, you should be practical about what you can do over a span of 4 weekends.

On that day of the festival, everyone gathered at the school reception and were handed out our yukata and fans. We were also given tags containing flags of our country to be pinned on the yukata. We then took off and gathered at the end of a street where the temple was located with much enthusiasm. I was feeling nervous about not dancing well. Notwithstanding the fact that I am a guest here, I do want to perform my best in the spirit of the festival. We made 3 rounds of dance that lasted 2 hours during which we passed by hundreds of people lined up on both sides of the street who watched and cheered for the dancers. I was perspiring to a point where I was blinking incessantly from the pouring sweat but kept my smile at all times. The festival ended with a fantastic dance number from the group that we practiced with. 

The festival ended at around 21:00hrs and it was followed by refreshments and giving of thanks. I looked for our sensei mama and asked to take a picture with her. She gladly took a picture with all of us and thanked us after for our hard work. As I approached to hug her, she hugged me back and said to me "貴方は上手だった。” I was stunned but flattered that she said that. I replied to her that I wasn't all that good but I am grateful for having a good teacher like her. It really made my night for I felt her sentiment despite our short exchange.

The night was followed by a group dinner and karaoke after. 

I really enjoyed it and hope I have the chance to do it again. 

I need to loosen up

It is one of those days where I am glad I went for keiko. Funny I would say that, you think. After all, the reason why I came to Japan was for aikido training. Of course, my intention is to attend classes everyday to make as much as possible out of my short stay in Japan. However, realistically speaking, execution of such a plan is easier said than done.

First off, there is the injury factor. I got injured twice over a 6 month period. One from over training before my body could adjust to the rigors of daily training. The other was from riding my bicycle. I won't bother explaining…. Then there is the holiday factor, the social factor and the I-don't-feel-like-a-million-dollars-today factor. 

Today was one of those days where I feel worn out and worried that I might not be able to make it through the hour long training. I had a very interesting but also exhausting weekend and it is an experience I d not wish to repeat for the sake of my health and well-being. I slept for most part of Saturday and did not attend any classes. On Sunday I also slept in but went to another dojo for training in the evening. Come Monday I was still feeling tired. In fact, I almost fell asleep in class today. Age is indeed catching up on me.

Anyway back to my story. I decided that I was going to attend class today. With trepidation, I stepped into the mat telling myself to take it slowly and keep going until the end. I trained with a nice lady and a nice gentlemen. I ended up chatting with both. The lady shared her experience on training with me when I told her about my problems with kokyuho. She told me I felt stiff when she threw me. So we went over the technique and she showed me where my problems were. As I thought, it dealt largely with the connection issue. I have problems staying connected with sensei and end up stiff and disconnecting prematurely. After listening to her we tried the exercise again and she said I felt much better than before. I realized that I was only relaxing parts of my body as opposed to keeping my body in a relaxed state. It goes right down to the toes really and I was so happy to learn that today. 

As for the nice gentleman, we chatted about aikido and he was kind enough to try and speak to me in English. He was very good to train with and I had a tough time keeping up with him. 

Well, here I am, at home and extremely tired but very happy. Happy that I went for training and got something important out of it. 

I am looking forward to tomorrow's lesson.

History Revisited

I am immobilized like how I first was 15 years ago.  The pain is sharp and frequent. I can't sit neither can I lie down without feeling some pain. The puzzling point is I do not know how it happened!

Just last week we were asked in class what is the one thing we are most afraid of in life. My answer was "illness".

Aiki Jinja Festival at Iwama

It has been a little over 3 months since I arrived in Japan and I have made it a point to participate in as many aikido and related events. So far it has been as schedule except for that one time were I unbelievably missed out on one event..my heart still aches thinking about it. But it has come to past and there is nothing I can do about it. Back to the event. I was fortunate enough to get a ride from a new aikido friend and the 4 of us set out on a 2 hour journey from Tokyo to Ibaraki. The company was good and conversation was jovial and candid. It gave me much food for thought about my training, especially in the area of taking ukemi.

When we arrived the shrine was already packed with people. We registered our names and gave our donation, after which we received a bento box, programme sheets and drink vouchers. As I watched the ceremony, I frankly do not comprehend most of what is going on but I understand the essence of the proceedings. There were 2 instances during the programme where the public were chanted prayers in unison. As I listened to the chanting, a breeze started blowing and I looked up to the sky. The weather was wonderful; warm and sunny. As the breeze blew, the sunlight flickered from the stream of falling leaves. I felt a sense a serenity in that moment of time and thoroughly savoured it.

The proceedings ended with an enbu performed by Waka sensei and Doshu respectively. Thereafter everyone adjourned to the vicinity of the Iwama dojo to partake lunch. I made new friends and met old ones. It was such much fun mingling around. I then went to the Hombu corner. Doshu was making his rounds and everyone was waiting to take a picture with him. I was part of the Hombu group picture but is now at pains trying to recalled whose camera it was that was used. I also took the opportunity to take pictures with some of the senseis but unfortunately the pictures came out a little out of focus. But I am glad I got to take the pictures with them. 

The Iwama Dojo was damaged in the 311 earthquake last year but thanks to assistance from all over, it was restored. After taking a picture in the dojo, it was then time to go back.

I feel fortunate to be able to make the trip to Iwama to see the training ground of O sensei. As I walked around the vicinity, I try to conjure up a picture of how O sensei and his students would train and meditate day after day in pursuit of one's self journey to enlightenment. A journey that I too, am embarking upon.

In memoriam

I woke up today with a tinge of sadness. This is the third year that you are no longer around. Memories of you flooded my mind today. I do think of you time to time, but then when it comes to this day thoughts of you overwhelms me. 

I thought of all those things that we did when I was a child. They somehow stopped when I grew up. I remember how you were a man of few words; when you speak, I listen. I used to think that you were just being old fashioned, but on hindsight it was perfectly logical, given the community I used to live in. I also remember all the stories about that were told after you left us. It made me regret that I didn't get to know you more. I feared you, your silence and your solemness. However, I realized that if I pushed you a little more it would have been a whole different story. Just like how I pushed you to play mahjong during Chinese New Year. You said you didn't want to but when I pushed your wheelchair to the mahjong table and you started playing, it was evident that you have wanted to play it all along. In fact, when we stopped playing to attend to other matters, I saw you playing with the tiles by yourself for a little while before you stopped. You played so well! So well...

Still waters run deep. That is the kind of person you were. In my memory of you, you never bragged about anything. In fact I knew what I knew about you because grandma would tell me stories about you. About how you started with literally nothing, working in the drains and eventually to being a class AAA licensed contractor. How you provided for your family so abundantly and put all each of your 9 children through as high an education as he/she can attain. How you wouldn't ask for much, but to have your children bring you for dim sum breakfast every Sunday morning. How I saw and heard how you really felt when I was alone with you in RIPAS that day. Your tears, your anguish and your frustration. How, in the medic plane, I held your hands and told you that I love you it is all going to be OK. 

How I held your hands when you came out of the operating theatre. 

How tightly you held my hand even when you were heavily sedated with morphine. How you wouldn't let go eventhough I had to go. How you convulsed in pain when your aneurism took on. How you were in great pain had your left hand up the air, just hoping that someone would come for you when the doctor told all of us to stay out of the room. How I stroked your soft hair and spoke to you for the last time. How you waited for me to leave before you breathed your last.

All that is now left is my memory of you. 

I wanted to just live the memory a bit, so I myself some doughnuts and made a cup of milo. Your usual afternoon tea. I know that it is silly of me. You are in the best place now and we will meet again. But it is just so human to relive memories, isn't it?

I hope you did all you wanted to in your lifetime. I hope that you had no regrets. I hope that you were happy. I hope that you had love.

Until we meet again, you will forever be in my heart.

The 2012 departure

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

I had waited almost 4 years for this day and finally the day has come. My desire to live in a Japan was seeded when I attended the 10th International Aikido Federation's Congress and Seminar held in Tanabe, Japan. I started training in aikido a year before and HH sensei encouraged us to attend the seminar because it was held only once every 4 years (makes it sound like Aikido Olympics huh?), and also because it would be very good exposure for an infant aikido organization in our country.

We had a few hiccups here and there but we finally made it to Tanabe. There were 3 of us from Brunei and 2 from Aikikai Malaysia. I was very excited to be at the seminar as it was the 10th anniversary and the federation decided to hold the seminar in the birthplace of O'sensei, Ueshiba Morihei.

I was in awe when I went for my first session in the morning. Coming from an infantile and very small aikido community, it was an aikido heaven for me.

See what I mean? My cousin commented that it looked a United Nations meeting for aikido! The rest, they say, is history.

In the meantime, I took the liberty of attending as many seminars overseas as I could and it only fuelled my desire to come to Japan, to learn from the source.

My departure made many people feel sad, particularly my family. But I felt very much at peace after reaching the decision.

I am here now, and enjoying every moment of it.

Starting up

Time sure flies when you are having fun. It has been 2 months since I set foot on Japan. On paper I am a student in a Japanese language school. But really? I am here for aikido. Hahahaha! But then it is the best of both worlds really. I have always had a healthy interest in languages. Since taking up aikido my collateral interest in Japan and what is in and about her has also correspondingly increased. 

Simply put, it is wonderful, really.

I have just about gotten into a routine although somehow I seem to always not have enough time! I felt that way when I was working back at home and thought that it will change when I go back to student life. But alas, student life has its own set of time consuming activities.

This is just to let you know that I have taken a long enough break and will be back to some finger action.

Have a great weekend!

Lunar New Year 2012 greetings